Self Love

Hello friends! Today I want to chat about a topic that was HUGE for me. It was one of the first things I started working on and it’s the thing that, out of everything I’ve been coached on has made the biggest difference in everything else. It is our relationship with ourselves. It never even occurred to me that I had a relationship with myself, so naturally I never bothered to think about what kind of relationship it was. But we all do and just as it’s important to consider what we’re doing to sustain positive relationships with everyone else in our lives, it’s important to have a periodic inventory of our relationship with ourselves. I like to start this with a thought download as I sit in front of the mirror. And be honest and complete with this. My rule of thumb is, if I find a thought lurking in my brain that I really wish wasn’t there, I write it down and give it some attention. It’s there for a reason and it’ll stay there, buried but wreaking havoc, until it sees the light of day.

The first time I did this, I was appalled. I was such a mean girl to myself. Maybe you can relate to saying things to yourself and having unreachable standards for yourself that you would never say to someone else or try to hold someone else to. If I were to simplify that entire thought download into one sentence, it would be: YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. Wow, I felt a shot of discouragement just typing those words and the fact is, I was saying versions of that to myself all day long every single day.

I could put this all into a model and choose a new thought like, “I am amazing!” But I know for sure that my brain would reject the outright opposite of such a deep seated belief and it wouldn’t have actually changed anything. I needed a complete overhaul on my relationship with myself and it was going to have to be a more gradual shift in order to stick.

After taking a close look at my current, automatic thoughts, my next step was to write a list of 100 things I appreciate about myself. Little things, big things, any things I genuinely appreciated about me. It took weeks to come up with all one hundred. The first time I did this, it was a seriously hard exercise. My phone had a malfunction recently and I lost my original list so I thought this would be a great time to think about the things I’m appreciating about myself right now.

I really hope you’ll write your own, but just to get your juices flowing (and show you that not all of them have to be grand and spectacular to ‘count’) I’m going to share my current list with you! I’m actually more nervous about sharing this than any of the other personal information I’ve been liberal with thus far. I guess telling other people what I like about me feels vulnerable, but I’m working on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable so here goes nothing!!

100 Things I Appreciate About Myself:

1. My freckles are so adorable I can hardly stand it! Cheek freckles, hand freckles, knee freckles, freckles for DAYS!
2. I am good at noticing people.
3. I make up silly impromptu songs about whatever is going on.
4. I am good at seeing gifts in others that they don’t necessarily see in themselves.
5. I am an art appreciator.
6. I love people! I’ve never met a person I couldn’t like.
7. I’m the kind of person who will put in any effort required on my part to like even ‘difficult’ people.
8. I love tweens and teens! Like so crazy much! Not everyone appreciates those stages, but that’s my sweet spot.
9. I’m practicing public speaking and sometimes (I really kind of like it, shh!).
10. I am a solidly okay singer and I lovey, love love to do it. At church, in my car, at home and occasionally out and about when I forget that I’m in public 🙂
11. I love Jesus!! And it’s mostly easy for me to trust His plans and trust that He’s got me.
12. I often jump on the trampoline with my kids or my fun hubby (or by myself because I like fun too!).
13. I put my shopping cart back in the cart return, even if I parked as far from one as you can get and my toddlers are both throwing tantrums. That’s just the kind of person I am!
14. I have really pretty feet. My toes are cute (and I dig some sparkly polish!) and my arches are high and elegant.
15. I am so at home in the sunshine and water. Chlorine = my happy place.
16. I’m the kind of mom who hardly ever stresses about homework, tests or grades.
17. I’m super flexible when we need to change our plans at the last minute. That kind of thing doesn’t ruffle my feathers at all.
18. I keep a box of granola bars in the van to give away to our friends hanging out under I-820. I may not be able to do a lot for everyone, but I can do a little for someone.
19. I love love LOVE learning about a variety of topics and I’m super thorough in my research (when it’s something I’m interested in).
20. My eyes twinkle when I smile!
21. And I smile at EVERYONE!
22. My amazing body has conceived, grown and delivered 6 amazing kids. The biology of that amazes me.
23. And my boobs have have fed those babies approximately 642 GALLONS of milk they made themselves. And I don’t even know the recipe! Whoa. Dang.
24. I’m good at fun braids and cute curls on my girls.
25. And I’ve gotten pretty darn great at cutting my guys’ hair too! (Thank you YouTube and Cheri Pardue!)
26. I am such an optimist. I can always find something good about a situation or a person. (Side note, if you need a belly laugh and some perspective on finding good in a situation, check out this video)
27. I love science. Especially the world, the universe and us amazing humans and how it all works together!
28. I am a loyal friend.
29. I am a super supportive wife. From the tough to the fun and everything in between, Jeremy is my #1 and by now I’m pretty good at knowing what he needs.
30. I love a good impromptu dance party to peppy, positive music.
31. I prioritize temple and family history work. And oh my goodness I love it!
32. I am good at taking time to snuggle my kids, even when I feel touched out.
33. I am good at organizing.
34. I earned every single smile line on my face!
35. When my kids have a struggle, I work my tail off to get them the help they need no matter how long it takes or how many different professionals I need to talk to.
36. I have close friends of all ages and stages of life. No artificial lines drawn here.
37. When I was in college, I helped with dome research and had a bacteria named after me-KS01. Fun, right?
38. I am good at lightening heaviness. I am a lifter.
39. I do what I think is right in my parenting no matter who might disagree (HA! Including my kids, much to their dismay!)
40. I love yoga.
41. Glitter and bright colors make me happy!
42. I start almost every day by telling my family amazing things about them.
43. I am endlessly hopeful. I 100% believe that anything is doable.
44. I’m full of ideas! So much going on in my head, so little time!
45. I’m good at prioritizing time for my marriage. Which is lucky because with 6 kids and full lives, it will never just happen organically.
46. I am good at saying no to others when I need to say no.
47. I’m also good at saying yes every time I can say yes.
48. I prioritize family fun time. Games, pools, museums, OH MY!
49. I’m good at making simple healthy meals that taste pretty ok and took very few minutes to slap together 🙂
50. I’ve studied a lot about nutrition and how food works in our bodies on a chemical and cellular level. So interesting. Eat more plants.
51. I wear cobalt blue mascara and rock it.
52. I deeply care about what is going on for other people and want to help.
53. I want to know EVERYONE at their core. Like who they really are, not just who they show people on the surface.
54. My body keeps on working all day long every day when I don’t even understand how it all works and I for sure don’t always give it everything it needs. Thanks body!
55. I truly believe that I am a daughter of God and that He knows me, loves me and helps me.
56. I have saved my children from beetles, wasps and spiders instead of running away! Go me!
57. I do a hilarious squeal and dance every time I unexpectedly happen upon a snake and I crack myself up every time. But seriously, snakes, *shudder*
58. I fixed a gigantic, poopy plumbing issue all by myself while Jeremy was living it up working in Europe. Ok, my dad helped, but I did plumbing and changed a tire that week. Go me!
59. I once painted every square inch of our home inside and out with toddlers running around to boot!
60. I take my kids to school and pick them up everyday and I adore those extra minutes with my sweethearts.
61. I can handle massive amounts of stimuli (visual, audible, kinetic) for longer than most people I know. Pretty good trick for an introvert!
62. I am a reader.
63. My siblings and parents are my besties-right after my cute husband!
64. I no longer feel bad about myself when I acknowledge things I’m not good at.
65. I LOVE games! And I’m not even a little bit competitive. I’m in it for the fun-you can win every time.
66. I’m good at listening and hearing people.
67. I skip around the house. And down the street. Occasionally in the store 🙂
68. I try so hard at everything. I’ll never give up trying to become my best self.
69. My eyelashes are long and lovely.
70. My hands are child sized and adorable.
71. I love museums-art, science, history, love it all!
72. I appreciate my need for stillness and quiet reflection.
73. I have bold opinions.
74. I’m tactful about sharing said opinions.
75. I’m open to hearing other points of view and am open to my point of view not being the only correct one.
76. I live gratefully.
77. I appreciate big things (like my family and clean water) and little things (like a variety of options for deodorant fragrances).
78. I am an extremely okay water skiier! So fun!
79. I’m the mom who always signs up to bring the obligatory veggie tray to the class party.
80. I’ve taken the time to learn about natural healing and the amazing plants God made for us and how to use them.
81. I accept people wherever they are in their life’s journey. I mean, we all just need more love people!
82. I love being someone who takes in stray children. Family, friends, neighbors…more love all around!
83. It is fairly easy for me to see everyone as a child of God and to feel love and compassion for them.
84. I try new things. All kinds of new things.
85. I’ve made covenants with God and I am thoughtful and deliberate in finding ways to keep them.
86. I make up decent bedtime stories.
87. I am practicing better self care. And I definitely don’t mean makeup and bubble baths.
88. I am learning that keeping promises to myself is vital and I’m getting better at this skill.
89. I love how I laugh.
90. I randomly get an artistic itch and paint things (sometimes furniture) bright colors!
91. I appreciate my husband’s hobbies and participate joyfully even if it’s not something I’m naturally interested in. (I’m usually converted pretty quickly. He’s good at picking hobbies that are deceptively fun. Like fun, camouflaged as practical)
92. I love my appley cheeks!
93. I distribute compliments with reckless abandon.
94. I am instantly lifted by citrusy scents!
95. I give fantastic massages.
96. I am a seriously expressive outloud reader. I would make a great children’s librarian.
97. I’m exhilarated by nature-fresh air, flowers, sunshine, rain, mountains, oceans *sigh* Whoever made this world is amazing! 😉
98. I trust the general goodness of humanity. We’re all doing our best and most of the time our best is pretty darn great.
99. Occasionally someone’s best is actually terrible and I’m good at frankly forgiving others (and usually myself) and choosing love anyway.
100. I handle emergency or high stress situations with a level head, no panic and enthusiastic optimism.

There you go folks! I hope this doesn’t feel braggy or anything. Trust me, I’m still battling that underlying thought of not being enough every single day. But these are my go to thoughts when my unsupervised brain wants to notice all of the things that might not be *just right* yet. And, I think everyone needs their own list off 100 things they appreciate about themselves! Because we all have brains that are good at noticing the negative.

I’d love to hear what some of your 100 things are! Please share!!